What do you do when you feel lost and every shimmer of hope dissipates at the sight of the few letters on a sheet of paper? How is one supposed to continue faking the contentment whilst having to live with the ineligibility to move on in life? What kills is the wave of disappointment crashing on to the shores of people who have had high hopes on you, the fatality in hearing the words "I'm proud of you...". You know they don't actually mean it - the underlying meaning behind that phrase hides "you could have done so much better if you..."/"what are you going to do with your life with those kinda grades?"/"what's done is done, i'm not the one with those results but i'm still going to congratulate you for the completion of the A Levels anyway".

Never a dreamer, more of a pragmatist. I long not for the straight As with huge ambitions of being a doctor or a lawyer, but for the mere inspiration to acknowledge my existence. If life is not all about letters and certificates or even rank and statuses, then why am I feeling under the weather about my achievement (or lack of)? Perhaps this is my default emotion. Perhaps I need another sabbatical getaway alone. Or maybe just the need to inject enthusiasm back into my lacklustre life.

When you are finally at the crossroad towards adulthood, having to decide between your interests and happiness and the path of mediocrity, 

which route would you take?


"No one lives forever,
but that's no reason to give up."